Posted by: janpierce | December 11, 2008

DEALING WITH FEAR

Even before the recent terrorist attacks in Mumbai I have been dealing with some fears about this trip to India. Strangely I haven’t been afraid, or at least not very often, on the other trips. Even the night when armed police banged on our door one midnight at the good old Heritage I was concerned (and clueless), but not frantic. But this time I notice little flickers of fear going through my thoughts from time to time. They are often triggered by news of bombings, accidents, etc. but as I think and pray about them I seem to be facing a fear that goes deeper than my personal safety. When you think about it, we would have to be extraordinarily unlucky to be at the exact site of attacks in that great big country. More likely we will just stand longer in lines going through lots of security checks. But below the surface fears, I find my basic need to please people rearing its head. We are exploring new directions in our efforts to make a difference in lives in south India. We’re taking control of the expenditures in country ourselves and not just giving money to ministries over there. We are taking the risk of offending people and that makes me very uncomfortable. It helps to name the fear- and that would be fear of man. It is fear of anger, accusations, disappointment, and all the range of emotions one human can attach to another when they don’t like the things done. So I ask myself, “Are we hearing from God as we make these decisions?” and I believe the answer is yes. At that point I can turn fear into something more like resolve. I still don’t like it, but I can deal with it. I love the people we know and work with in India. Pray with me that I can fully embrace the love and focus on that in our short visits togther–making the most of our time there. Pray too that we’ll continue to keep our ears open for guidance and that all of our steps will follow God’s “good path.”

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